Lowering The Gradients According To The Personality Of The Girl

When we are talking about subjects such as "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Can you relate to women?", I often get asked regarding how to begin getting physical with a girl that you have known as a friend for awhile.

Getting physical is something which generally occurs naturally between a guy and a girl over a three month period unless of course either of them is really uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the main thing which a guy could do to take care of that is learn to observe and make use of gradients.

Exactly what are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder that you climb to get to the top. A few guys might try to head to the top of the ladder without ascending any of the steps. And that makes the girl uneasy and also the guy.

A guy who is uncomfortable in this area ought to learn both how to identify gradients when women make use of them and how to make use of gradients on girls.

Not all women will start at the same gradient. Some women will begin with a kiss after a first date, and proceed steadily or quickly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and lastly to sexual relations. If a man attempts to leap to the "sexual relations" stage without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. Conversely, you may lose a girl as you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other girls won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her could be: getting to know you, speaking about sexual subjects indirectly (for example commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you while you stroll), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm while you stroll, holding your hand, after which a goodnight kiss.

If you are not comfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients gently. So long as you don't by pass a lot of gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or gradually depending on her persona.

If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't budge, try talking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be good friends.

Don't forget that most girls won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely fine with the idea of getting physical with you. Thus you might want to clarify if you are dating or just "chilling out."

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